KINTYRIANA
1884
Next week the farmers hold their annual show.
And there, of course, why should they not compete
And praises earn, since praises are so sweet.
Each mare and horse our farmers comb and clean,
Knot mare and tail with ribbons red and green.
Tending their cows, they morn and evening toil
Scraping their horns and smoothing them with oil.
Their housewives too, with equal ardour burn
And court their fortunes in wayward churn
And, though their hearts with sad forebodings flutter,
Attempt with dyes to stain the gathering butter.
In rich designs they print the fingered lump
With many a squeeze and many an oozing thump.
The show morn came. A bright and sunny day
Saw every road belined with stragglers gay.
The lads in moleskin white as virgin snow,
With cap and cane and joyous paces go.
And lassies too, so fresh, so plump and fair
Stump on light-hearted, and devoid of care.
And many a gig and many a jolting car
Brings friendly combatants to friendly war.
Soon old Ceannloch with bustling farmers swarms,
Matrons and maids all redolent with charms.
And to the Quarry pours an endless crowd,
All chatting, smiling and all laughing loud.
The show is opened and the loungers throng
Around the judges as they walk along.
There, in great numbers and in dense battalions
Are colts and fillies, horses, mares and stallions
There Ayrshire, Highland, shorthorn Irish cows
Chewing their cud, because they cannot brouse.
Deep-chested bulls with wild and fiery look
Unpleasant fellows when their heads they shook.
There stand fat ewes with wethers, hoggs and lambs,
And powerful specimens of Highland rams,
And there some swine upon their hurdies sat
Half-choked and panting from redundant fat.
And poultry too of every race and stock
Hens, ducks and turkeys, pigeons, ganders, geese
Their varied clamours ne'er relax or cease.
When all the lots were studied to perfection
The awarders made a final close inspection.
Then - as made up, perhaps, some previous day -
Award the prizes. in the regular way.
Soon, bit by bit, breaks up the busy Show
And to the town, the moving masses go.
"Kintyriana" was published, possibly privately, in 1884, and the book was kindly lent to E.A. Wotherspoon by Mr. Archibald McMillan.
It would be interesting to know the many sites of the Show. In the post-war (first) period it was held in a stone walled park on the opposite side of the road from the Witchburn Hospital, then locally known as the "Poorhouse." Two popular contendents at the "Greasy Pole" event were those well known inhabitants of that establishment, known as "Jock" and "Gig." When that site was required for building, the Show was held in the Limecraigs Park, and later moved to its permanent site at Anderston.
No longer are cheese and butter the main exhibits in the Victoria Hall at the autumn show, but it is gratifying to find that the Creamery in the Witchburn Road is keeping up local traditions, and is supplying important chain stores with "Kintyre" cheese.
One class at the autumn show has disappeared many years ago from the schedule: that of the half dozen largest eggs. Rumour said that the same set of eggs were appearing yearly to win the first prize, until one unkind judge called for a basin and broke one egg into it, with horrific results!
No matter what is shown, dogs, horse, cows, baking or perhaps even babies, the judges fail to please everyone, and the amount of reassessment of the prizewinners that goes on after the Show is colossal, by no means unexpected, and certainly not unique to Kintyre!